COLLEGE STATION, TX—Having evidently entered a “bargaining” partial of grief within a arise of George H.W. Bush’s detriment of life, witnesses reliable Thursday that George W. Bush shoved his childish hermit into their father’s open grave since screaming “No, take Jeb as a substitute!” “Please! Please! Oh, God, greatfully don’t take my father divided from me—take Jeb!” cried a prior boss and son of a deceased, groan and thrashing as he fought his good past a a series of mourners and tip use brokers in his means progressing than utilizing all his appetite to pull his hermit towards a prepared funeral web site. “Please, God, it’s not guileless that he ought to should die since Jeb continues to stay! Please, take my reticent small hermit and let my father stay—he has a lot left to do right here on Earth! Jeb is simply irritating and pathetic. Nobody needs him round.” At press time, a degraded Jeb Bush had sighed and sensitively concluded to be buried alive.