The 22-year-old law tyro is now deliberation suing the police and the Crown Prosecution Service. Here, he writes for Sky News about his experience, and his try put the two-year distress behind him and reconstruct his life.
During the case, my strenuous feeling was disappointment – you feel like you’re putting your life in someone else’s hands.
You’re in a permanent state of startle and you just can’t get out of it since you can’t trust it’s happened to you. You’re forced to try to find a way to understanding with it. You try to live normally, but it’s not normal.
I was arrested in front of my silent at her home and taken into the station. When you know you’re innocent, you just consider it will be so easy to find the justification to infer it.
But it’s opposite when it’s one word against another. And while the police are trying to infer the accuser’s word, no one is really out looking for justification to support what you’re saying. It feels like all you contend is just being used to compare.
The whole indicate of probity is that you’re done to feel intimidated and frightened, and we totally know that.
It has to be intimidating since if not then no one’s going to be frightened of the police or the rapist probity complement itself. But every step you go by the some-more you feel you are losing a partial of yourself.
You are sat in a box, divided from your family. we had to make the decision either we wanted people close to me – like my silent – to be my support in the courtroom or a impression anxiety for my case.
You can’t do both. Sometimes you have to scapegoat having someone who is close to you in court, infrequently you have to scapegoat a impression anxiety – it’s just a choice you have to make.
It took me 4 or 5 hours of woe to decide, but we finally motionless we wanted my silent to be a impression reference. we knew she wouldn’t be means to live with herself if she wasn’t a impression anxiety and proactively assisting my case.
On the second day in probity we detected my prosecution was going to be benefaction in the courtroom. Up until that day we had been told she would seem on a video link, and that was what we had prepared myself for.
Seeing someone on video is a lot reduction romantic than having someone in the same room as you. You have to fight every outburst.
You just wish to say: “What are you doing? Why don’t you stop this going further?” Instead, you have to lay there and listen to someone slating your impression and making you out to be this person that you know you’re not.
When the case collapsed, we felt intensely lucky. Everyone keeps asking me how it feels now it’s over, but it’s not – I’m just fighting a opposite battle now. we feel like I’ve got to tackle 3 opposite battles, on 3 opposite fronts.
I feel like we need to work to recover my personal life, fight for my relations with my friends and family and the people we adore and also to understanding with the hazard of the greeting to the case – to any probable retaliation.
I really don’t wish any mistreat on anyone concerned in the case, it’s simply not partial of me. we exclude to let this knowledge make me sour and malicious and start wishing mistreat on people – it’s not in my interest.
University is ostensible to be the best years of your life, but I’ve spent two years in fear. we worry that if we put one foot out of line, even if it’s not my fault, it could land me into all sorts of trouble.
It means I’m always meditative about anything that could presumably damn my impression some-more than this conditions has.
I’m anticipating to get back to university and back to work now, and in my ideal universe I’d get to get back to my normal life. But we also feel we need to do something to fight cases like this from behind the scenes.
I can’t highlight enough, that it’s not particular people or a solitary dialect that needs to be held responsible, we consider there’s a common shortcoming somewhere. There are lots of things that went wrong and mixed factors that contributed to it.
I would adore to work with them (the Crown Prosecution Service and police), and to tell them my story properly.
To go by the complement with them step by step and see how it’s ostensible to work and we can tell them where it didn’t where it didn’t from a personal perspective.
Mr Allan now plans to speak to MPs, and is anticipating to use his knowledge to change the complement of questioning rape and passionate offences.
The Metropolitan Police are now holding an obligatory examination into Mr Allan’s case.